nalulau - white, black, or gray?

 

the walk between camp and the site for nalulau's new water well

hi, all!! :) one of the things i’m wrestling with this summer is how to deal with “gray areas” in a third world country. when you listen to your parents or follow a list of rules or read the bible, there are a refreshing number of clear “yes’s” and “no’s,” “do’s” and “don’ts,” “rights” and “wrongs.” mom tells you not to jump off the roof into the pool, so you don’t jump off the roof into the pool. virginia law says the speed limit’s 70 mph, so you go 70 (ish). the bible says don’t steal, so you don’t steal. simple, right? you may really want to jump off that roof, go 88 mph, and “borrow” your sister’s shirt for the day, but at least you know what’s right and you know what’s wrong. even if you choose to ignore your nagging conscience, black is black and white is still white. easy.

but what happens when kids as young as 3 or 4 years old dig through your trash pit in the bush? they’re only looking for discarded, charred, or rotten scraps of food, or empty bottles and cans, or shiny tin foil. do you let them dig for dinner and invaluable containers for their moms and dads to use at home, or do you stop them because they may also find shards of broken glass and sharp tin can lids? what about the dogs, all skin-and-bone, who paw through it alongside the children – are the burnt clumps of rice and bad meat okay for them, or do you chase them away just like you did the kids?

picture village kids entering into your campsite and folding up your fold-out chairs, picking up (and walking away with) pens, pencils, and bibles, and knocking on the door of your tent. do you tell them to stay outside an invisible boundary around your site so the entire village doesn’t come to camp with you, or do you invite them all in to make your camp site their home, too? 

you know that if you give gifts to villagers as you’re sharing Christ, they might wrongly affiliate money, gifts, and rich white people with the name of Jesus. you know, too, that if you gave one sandwich to one hungry teenager one day, you’d have to give away all of your team’s food to all the hungry children in the village until your supply runs dry. so what do you do, then, when you’re making a mound of PB&Js for your 12 other teammates when a group of kids who look like they haven’t eaten in a week are staring at your pile-o-sandwiches as it grows higher, and higher, and higher? 

maybe those are easy questions for some people to answer. of course it’s sad that kids are digging through trash with dogs, but you have to burn your trash each night in case one of the children gets hurt or the dogs have rabies. of course it’s hard to draw and keep firm boundaries, but boundaries can be healthy and necessary for your safety and sanity, especially if you’re going to survive long-term in the mission field. of course you can’t give away gifts and food to the locals because it might contaminate the gospel with prosperity theology – “the godly get rich” – and besides, if you give to one, you’d have to give to all. 

maybe those are the “correct” answers. really, they might be. but i can’t say i’m completely convinced of that. because, show me, where’s the black? where’d that pearly white go? it’s all gray. everything just turns gray.

i come from a very blessed, very wonderful, very privileged background with two godly parents who brought me to church every week, gave me priceless memories, provided me endless opportunities to excel, and allowed me to get a solid college education. i can easily just hop on a plane and head right back home if africa ever gets “too uncomfortable” or “a little much.” if i need money for food, i go to standard chartered in mongu, pray that the atm has enough kwacha in it, and have money in my hands in seconds. if my flip flops wear out, i hop to the market and find another pair for about a dollar. if i get absurdly dirty in the bush, i go into my tent and clean up with sanitation wipes and clean water. if i’m thirsty, i grab my water bottle (and probably a crystal light packet as well). 

i have everything i need and could ever want, all the time. these people have nothing that they need, never mind what they want, even when they’re tiny children. no transportation, no nutritious food, no clothing that wasn’t already falling apart when they first received it, no way to clean their faces so flies wouldn’t swarm their eyes and mouths, no access to safe drinking water to quench their thirst.

 

so what do you do with the gray areas when all of them spawn from the undeniable and irrevocable fact that you have much and they have little? i’m used to having enough food and water; i have a plan B and plan C and plan D to remove myself from danger or discomfort if i need it; i expect time and space that i can call my own; i think of my upbringing and good education as normal gifts instead of incredibly profound miracles. 

i’m starting to see why africa changes people. dealing with those “gray questions” can be easy when you’re looking at them with a clinical eye, objectively and practically. but when i’m right there, when i see with my own eyes how hungry those hungry eyes are, when i see how incredible the disparity between my lifestyle and that of the villagers is, Jesus’ words run through my mind on repeat:

"and if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, i tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward." (matthew 10:42)

"'for i was hungry, and you gave me something to eat; i was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink; i was a stranger, and you invited me in; naked, and you clothed me; i was sick, and you visited me; i was in prison, and you came to me.' then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry, and feed you, or thirsty, and give you something to drink? and when did we see you a stranger, and invite you in, or naked, and clothe you? when did we see you sick or in prison, and come to you?' the King will answer and say to them, 'truly i say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of mine, even the least of them, you did it to me.'" (matthew 25:35-40)

"sell your possessions and give to the poor. provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys." (luke 12:33)

i don’t pretend to have answers to all my questions – i call them “gray” for a reason. but i do know that Christ’s church has an amazing task set out before it here in mongu, out in nalulau, down in south africa, back in the states, and throughout the whole world. ignoring the disparity between rich and poor because it’s too painful to think about, or too geographically distant to care about, or too culturally distant to understand is not okay. we already know that! but for me, avoiding these questions because they’re hard and unclear is also not okay. so please, wrestle through them with me! and above all, pray for peace, unity, comfort, and grace in Christ for the beautiful people of nalulau!!

all my love,

stephanie :)