Hello, all!
Happy late Easter and Khmer New Year! Katherine (my host missionary from California) and I just got back from a 5-day trip to Kompong Speu province where she and Hong Phally, the District Superintendent of KS, delivered a two-day training on servant leadership to new Christians from three different churches in the area. We then drove a few hours west, picked up another two pastors and their families, and spent a few days in Kol Kong to celebrate Khmer New Year, Cambodian style! I taught little Wesley (how very Methodist) how to build a sandcastle and collect the prettiest sea shells at the beach, laid out in the sun, gorged myself on seafood, and got some good beach reading in, which was wonderful. A few days of rays are highly underrated.
Sok Nora and Hong Phally chasing a crab at the beach
so close!
but fifteen minutes later...
GOT EM!!!
Wesley proudly bringing me a tenth handful of seashells
our prized collection
Kol Kong at sunset
After a couple days of soaking up the sun, visiting the Thai border (apparently it’s the thing to do around here…), touring mangrove forests, and eating a few questionable items, we made the long road trip back to Phnom Penh, just in time to revel in a few hours’ worth of relative peace, quiet, clean(ish) air before torrents of people returned to the city after spending a weekend with loved ones.
before heading out to see the mangroves, I felt the need pause for a tribute to Texas
a pleasant meal of garlic-infused fried crickets
Sok Nora and his wife enjoying the creepy-crawly entrée
rambutan - road food! (inside, it's kind of like a white grape with an almond-shaped seed in the middle)
to break up the trip, we did a quick pit stop at a waterfall in the mountains on the way home
for me, this was a first!
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me paint a picture for you. These past two weeks have put Phnom Penh into a flurry of excitement. But instead of dying eggs in rainbow splotches, buying Peeps and green plastic grass and multicolored wicker baskets, sneaking a few Cadbury eggs here and there, praying that the lilies will stay alive through Holy Saturday, and counting down the days until a Sunrise Service, it’s been a bit different on this side of the world.
Despite my many inquiries to nationals and expats alike, I have yet to discover both the original intention and the significance of all the festivities that go on for Khmer New Year. Little ones, students, and adults have been absorbed in all of these crazy games: hacky sack with a feathered ball thing, beating up a clay pot with a stick (Cambodian form of “piñata, piñata”?), acting like a hen protecting her baby chicks when a crow tries to peck them off, some form of “duck, duck, goose” with a towel twisted into a ring, and gambling and dice. Little ancestor worship houses are lit up with incense at every door, plates of food and drink lay out untouched (except for the flies, of course) on porches and outside doorways for dead relatives, major cities are evacuated as inhabitants flee to their home provinces to be with families and loved ones, and parties rage all night and all day in pagodas, houses, and little shops with no apparent care for the expense, day, or hour.
So…what’s it all for? Still not sure! I’ll bet me pondering Khmer New Year celebrations based on the games and hyper-use of incense would be a bit like a Cambodian trying to figure out what the meaning of Easter is based on egg hunts and chocolate bunny rabbits. Not that I’m hating on the bunnies or anything, but I can see where the confusion can bloom!
So, in the midst of festivities settling down and the second half of my internship to dive into, I’m finding the true meaning of what Jesus called “patient endurance.” Gees, just the sound of that makes me feel impatient and flighty. You remember the parable of the sower? The last two lines of explanation caught me the other day:
“As for the seed that fell among thorns: they hear but, as they go about their daily lives, they’re choked by the cares, riches, and pleasures of life and their fruit doesn’t mature. But as for the seed that falls into good soil: when they hear the word, they hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and they bear fruit with patient endurance.” (Luke 8:14-15)
I have to be honest here. Being literally as far away from my family, friends, and fiancé as the east is from the west for a third of a year during the six months before I get married, move to a new city, and start grad school is a teeny bit rough. Any other logical, sane, rational creature would have surely not intentionally made plans to live in yet another foreign culture just months before her wedding. Learn how to be an unpaid intern rather than make money, gain engineering experience, and save up for her next few years of schooling. Risk getting dengue, malaria, and whatever else is floating around Cambodia while she’s still only in her early twenties. Anyone who’s known me for any length of time couldn’t have guessed two years ago that I’d be traipsing around the world doing volunteer work for the church. Sounds pretty nuts. Kinda reckless…a little too childish, perhaps? Are we sure this girl’s grown up enough to make her own decisions?
Fortunately (and I need to remind myself of this every day that I’m here, I’m not ashamed to admit), I can bet my life on the fact that God called me here. And thank God that God doesn’t work according to the world’s uptight standards of prudence, restraint, and control – because without his recklessly extravagant, completely inexplicable grace, then where would we be?
But I won’t pretend that I haven’t needed encouragement to remind me that I heard God correctly when I felt him nudge me toward Cambodia. Thankfully, it’s come in droves. Twice in one day (and many times thereafter), missionaries who I work with on a daily basis came up to me a month or so ago, sat me down, and told me explicitly that I was an incarnate answer to their prayers. Irene (known around the office affectionately as “Mamí”) had asked God for years to send someone who could help her bridge the gap between what she sees and witnesses God doing through her work here and her supporters, a mostly North American audience. Capturing stories on paper and sharing them with others is exactly what I came here to do, and even though it seems to me sometimes like I’m not much help to anyone at all. But the little encouragements I’ve received from Mamí and others, I know God’s using me.
So where does that leave me? Still wrestling, believe it or not. When Jesus was talking about the “cares, riches, and pleasures of life” choking those little seeds, he wasn’t kidding. It’s so difficult for me to convince myself that what I can offer here actually has worth, even though a fat paycheck, big company name, and sometimes even remotely tangible outcomes aren’t associated with it. Like the many other missionaries who work here, I’m in danger of being caught up in the “cares of life” in Cambodia: how little I can offer in the midst of such brokenness, the rolling blackouts in 98°F+ April heat, the miles of slums where people struggle to survive with less than nothing, the struggles of trying to teach even the most basic of lessons in the provinces. Pushed down by so many cares, of course I can’t allow my “fruit to mature” – how can you see anything clearly when tear-filled eyes?
So here's the challenge. "But as for the seed that falls into good soil: when they hear the word, they hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and they bear fruit with patient endurance."
I’ve seen, heard, smelled, tasted, and felt a lot this past year. Zambia, Peru, Cambodia. I've learned a lot about Christ, his church, his word, and myself. I’ve also seen lot of things that have made me want to break down and cry. A lot that’s made me want to give up, fly back to Texas, sneak into a well-lit, sweet-smelling, air-conditioned Starbucks, and lose myself in one of those massive overstuffed coffeehouse chairs with a $4 latte and a good book for the rest of my life. A lot that’s made me angry, defensive, inconsolable, and defiant. A lot that’s convinced me that after I’ve seen what I have, there’s no way I can go back to life as it once was.
So here in Cambodia where waiting seems for me to be the hardest it’s ever been, I’m determined to “hold it fast” – cling to the faith and trust that God knows exactly what he’s doing in my life and to the ultimate hope that when Jesus comes, everything’s going to be great – with “patient endurance.” Patient endurance. Who knew that five syllables could ever be so hard?
As always, I love hearing from y'all and getting caught up in your lives and everything that's going on this spring! Thank you for your wonderful encouragement and prayers and support for me while I'm here - it's made all the difference!!!
Many blessings,
Stephanie :)
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